The Day The Power Button Died
Sunday, August 29, 2010 at 3:26PM Today is the first day of the rest of my life as they say, but sadly it is the last day for all of my old video game systems. Is this really the last time I am going to play a video game for the next year? What should I play? Go with a couple of classics or play something totally new? The only game I have that I should finish is the DLC they released for Alan Wake... But I think I will start with something a little bit older and challenging.
Brandon Roberts
AAAHH! I don't know why I do this to myself! This game is so damn hard... I got all the way to the sewers with all four turtles with near-full health and I STILL died! You know, I have heard stories of gamers getting all the way to the technodrome, but I am pretty sure they are all full of crap!
Brandon Roberts
Ok I am just going to finish Alan Wake. I beat the main game about 2 months ago, and to be honest with you I have precisely a 4-year-old's understanding of what the Hell happened. The ending of this game takes a Volkswagen sized JJ Abrams crap right on your tv and leaves you with about a thousand questions and exactly NO answers. I am hoping the DLC they just released a couple weeks ago will at least make some sense of what exactly I spent 12 hours playing. It should be said I really liked Alan Wake. The first 2 episodes are super formulaic and hard to get into, but once Alan starts crawling deeper into the rabbit's butthole that is Bright Falls, the insanity meter revs up to about %200 and you can actually feel your reasoning abilities begin to die. I love horror... this is horror... so I love Alan Wake.
Brandon Roberts
AAAHH! Alan what are you doing?!?! I can't help you if everything you do is a dream... or an illusion... or a brainfart or whatever the hell is going on in Bright Falls. I just finished the DLC, and I am no better off then when I started. I never read any of the transcripts I found and that probably could have helped, but really how much? And if I have read 100 pages worth of exposition just to understand your game, than there might be a probably (and hopefully its not me).
Brandon Roberts
Well I need something nice and dumb to help me recover from the Alan Wake mind-raping I just fell victim to, and only Road Rash for the Nintendo 64 can supply the proverbial cold shower. This game is ugly, glitchy, impossible to control, and really fun. There is nothing like slamming a boxy-headed cop with a bat while riding a rectangle that if I squint hard enough somewhat resembles a motorcycle. 
Brandon Roberts
Here is some video I shot of my wife Brynn after she ripped the controller out of my hand to play a little Road Rash. I swear, before I turned the camera on she was very enthusiastic in her commentary for the game.
Reader Comments (2)
This man is going to be the greatest writer of the 21st century.
Look at that hot momma! Love you guys and we miss you all very much. The website looks great and I look forward to reading all 500 reviews. And Krissy said to watch "The Ugly Dachshund," sounds terrible not sure if you have seen it yet. She said she will pose for all of you movies, books, magazines, etc.. or whatever you get published one day.