Who would have thought a documentary about a comedienne that I can’t stand would be so entertaining. Joan Rivers has made a career out of annoying me. Her bits were usually mean and gossipy, concerned with berating celebrities on the “red carpet” and judging everything from their shoes to their sex-life. Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work does a great job showcasing the woman I never saw on her E channel specials. With much humility and humanity, Rivers (and at times her equally irritating daughter Melissa) gives a rare glimpse into her world. Her pressures are varied, but are mostly concerned with two subjects: finance and/or ego. You see, no on of any substance is knocking on Joan Rivers’ door anymore. The once queen of crass is left with small comedy clubs and a lot of bills. People rely on her making money, she is aware of her responsibilities. The documentary takes on an almost inspiring tone when Rivers takes it upon herself to get back into the spotlight. She produces a one-woman-show that she also stars in, and even with her many let downs and failures, the 75-year-old showbiz antique keeps her head up. This doc is fun and funny, and a humbling example of how Hollywood will take everything from you and leave you asking for more.
Surrogates film posterI am not going to waste much time on either of these flicks. These movies are so similar that I figured I would just knock them out in one post. Surrogates is a Bruce Willis sci-fi schlock fest where everyone in the world interacts through their robotic avatars known as “surrogates.” Just trying to describe this film’s plot pisses me off. This film is stupid from almost every angle. Humans use their robots to work, shop, have sex, do drugs, and everything else you can think of. Meanwhile, the actual human being controlling the robot is laying in some computer bed at home getting fat, sick, and smelly. When someone finds a way to kill humans by killing their surrogates, all of the FBI robots freak out and try to solve the case. Now, of course the question must be asked: Why doesn’t anyone just walk into the room where the actual human is controlling their own robot and shoot them in the face? If you haven’t seen the movie (I’m jealous) then this won’t make any sense, but my point is that even if you have seen it then it still won’t make any sense! I really hated this flick. There were some cool action scenes I guess, but who cares. Every movie can have cool set pieces. Anyway, I am done thinking about this stupid movie.
Gamer film bannerSo I guess I was in an especially masochistic mood last night because I followed up Surrogates with an equally unwatchable science fiction film where people can control other people like a video game. Gamer has Gerard Butler, the man who should never make another romantic comedy again, wrongly imprisoned for killing some dude. While he was in prison Dexter (Michael C. Hall) figured out a way to let people basically take over someone else’s body and make him or her do whatever they want. This was deemed legal by the United States government. Now stay with me; Dexter also created a game called “Slayers” where convicted murderers are put into a Call of Duty style deathmatch game and teenage boys control their bodies while they try and kill each other. If a man is able to survive 30 rounds of this game, then he is officially pardoned and set free. Again, completely legal. Are you confused yet? Ludacris (perhaps the worst of the rapping actors) is able to hack into the game or something, and is able to set King Leonidis free to get his revenge on Dexter. Terrible.
Michael C. Hall in Gamer shirtlessIf you have seen either of these flicks (I am sorry) let me know what you thought. They are both on Netflix Instant Streaming so if you want to punish yourselves then take a look. I suggest you just watch all 6 seasons of The Larry Sander’s Show, HEY NOW!
Screamtime film posterDesperately trying to match the iconic scares found in classics like Creepshow 2, The Twilight Zone Movie, and Trick R’ Treat, the three flicks I watched last night were all knock-offs of the anthology format. If you don’t know, anthologies are films that are made up short films all tied together by an overarching plot. One of the best things about anthology horror films is the weak plotline that holds the short-films together; Like Creepshow’s little Billy who introduces each segment as a story in a comic book.
Well, I started off with 1983’s Screamtime, which has two scumbags wanting to watch a couple of horror tapes. Each tape is presented as a mini-horror flick and they are all pretty terrible. Most don’t bother to make sense, instead spending precious screen time trying to confuse than frighten. Its good for laughs, so if you are bored one night and want to watch something really, really stupid than Screamtime is for you.After Midnight film poster
Next up for my night of screams was After Midnight. Made in 1989, it reeks of 80’s style horror set-ups and trappings. Still, I really liked After Midnight. The overarching plotline is pretty great. A university psyche professor invites his students to come over to his house to tell scary stories in an attempt to teach them about fear. The scares are stronger in this film than Screamtime, dealing with haunted houses, rabid dogs, a terrified phone-operator, and sociopathic hobos. I totally recommend this film; I think it is a great entry into the anthology hall of fame.
Tales from the HoodNow, the final film I watched I consider a classic. I have seen it at least a half-dozen times, and will probably watch it another dozen. It of course is 1995’s urban epic Tales from the Hood. Finally frights come to the hood! Produced by Spike Lee, this film opens with three gangbangers visiting a mortician who found some drugs. The oddly enigmatic undertaker frightens the boys, mostly because every casket they pass the mortician tells them the tragic story of how the victim died. Now, I would argue every story in Tales from the Hood deserves a place in the anthology pantheon, right next to “Old Chief Woodn’Head,” “ The Raft,” and “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet.” The first story is about an African American cop that allows three white cops to kill a local activist, and when the activist comes back from the dead all four men must pay. The second tale is a lesson on dealing with the monsters that attack at night, and the last is most bizarre, when dolls that are possessed by the spirits of slaves attack a white politician and his manager. Like I said, classic!
Tales from the Hood
All three films are currently on Netflix instant streaming service, and all three deserve your attention. If you decide to watch any of these flicks let me know what you thought, and don’t forget to click the “share” button below.
For the Love of Movies: The Story of Film Criticism film posterGerald Peary’s 2010 documentary For the Love of Movies: The Story of American Film Criticism chronicles the history of film as an evolving medium of art, and the men and women who championed it, in an attempt to investigate why the once respected profession of film criticism is slowly becoming defunct. Scoring interviews with the industry’s finest representatives as well as securing footage from many of the film titles discussed throughout the documentary, this movie promised to be an educational and entertaining contribution into the genre. Unfortunately, Peary’s film quickly and efficiently devolves into a lazily produced history lesson, having no qualms focusing only on the moments in criticism’s timeline that interested him and haphazardly rushing over the rest.
Broken up into chapters divided by era, For the Love of Movies plays more like a textbook than an entertaining documentary. With titles like “The Dawn of Criticism 1907-1929,” “Auteurism and After 1954-1967,” and “When Criticism Mattered 1968-1989,” it is made clear early on that Peary’s love for American film criticism is unmatched by his cinematic flair. Briskly introducing us to turn of the century critics like Frank E. Woods and Robert E. Sherwood, we are only offered mere glimpses into what made these writers great. This hurried pace is maintained throughout the majority of the picture, only subsiding to dedicate an ample amount of time to the inflamed relationship between Village Voice critic Andrew Sarris and Pauline Kael of the New Yorker.
Film Critics Ebert, Kael, Sarris
Although it has the production value of a PowerPoint presentation, For the Love of Movies does offer some interesting insight into a profession traditionally lambasted and kept out of the spotlight. Regrettably, Gerald Peary’s documentary does little to account for professional criticism’s ever-loosening grasp on America’s consciousness, and instead timidly cowers behind those who no longer need to worry.
I am sure no one else has seen this flick, but if you have or haven't leave your comments and don't forget to push the "share" button below.
Exit Through the Gift Shop film posterExit Through the Gift Shop led the pack of 2010 meta-documentaries that attempted to play with audience expectations and classic narrative structure. Without giving too much away, ETGS is directed by infamous graffiti-artist Banksy, but is mostly compiled of footage shot and directed by Los Angeles clothing storeowner and amateur filmmaker Thierry Guetta. Guetta is the type of eccentric, maundering jerk that only a Frenchmen could truthfully personify. Bansky?Armed with his hand-held camera, Guetta frustratingly documents every moment of his life, no matter how superfluous or fleeting. When he discovers the underground world of street art, Guetta seemingly pushes family and career to the side in an obsessive attempt to break into the fascinating industry. Where does Banksy, the reigning king of the paint can fit in? Well I will let you find out for yourself. Even the questions this film left me asking are potential spoilers, so if you have seen it and want to discuss it we can do that in the comments section. What I can say is that Banksy’s documentary is the best of the year, filled with as much expression and insight as his street art. Satire or not, Exit Through the Gift Shop is a powerful film that ably examines the superficial and profit mongering community that makes up today’s art scene.
If you have seen it let me know what you thought, and don’t forget to click the “share” button below.
Trapped in Paradise film posterI am just going to say this film wasn’t for me. This was right around the time Nic Cage was wearing out his comedic welcome (after he made a career in comedy with classics like Raising Arizona, Peggy Sue Got Married, and even Amos & Andrew), and when we all should have realized Dana Carvey was not funny unless he had drumsticks in his hands (do I need to bring up Master of Disguise?). Of course Trapped in Paradise is almost worth watching if you are a big Jon Lovitz fan, but even those few will have a hard time sitting through this stale mess. For some reason this film has its fans, in fact the only reason I gave it a shot was because a buddy recommended it to me. Obviously I didn’t enjoy my time trapped in paradise, but if you liked this flick let me know why.
Saturday, February 12, 2011 at 12:24PM 
Joan Rivers A Piece of Work film poster
