#12. Machete - Review

Machete Poster 2010

To say I was excited for this film is somewhat of an understatement. It is more appropriate to define my need to witness Danny Trejo wielding twin machetes as lust. My cinematic urges surfaced in 2007, when Machete was just a hoax, a faux-trailer played between the two Grindhouse features.  Out of all the fake trailers shown connecting Planet Terror and Death Proof, Machete was the only one I desperately needed to see manifested into reality. So when I heard the news director Robert Rodriguez was going to do just that, my elation quickly turned into anxiety. Can Rodriguez transform a two-minute trailer into an interesting, competent film?Machete Poster 2010

Thankfully, the answer is mostly yes. This film is very good, although it’s not great. The action is brutal, the women are gorgeous (and near naked throughout the entire film), and the acting is more than serviceable. What doesn’t work for me is Machete himself. Danny Trejo is the quintessential character actor, having made a living the last 15 years playing badass Mexican mother fu@&ers, but I am not so sure he can carry a film on his own. His abilities are fine, and I think he did a great job making such a wild character like Machete believable. What bothered me was Trejo’s lack of influence on the film. Machete is about as one-sided as a protagonist can get, and I think Rodriguez could see it, so the director overcompensated with his other performers. Trejo couldn’t compete with the likes of Jeff Fahey, Don Johnson, Robert DeNiro or even Michelle Rodriguez. If there wasn’t a blade in his hand, Trejo seemed to be left in the cold by these other actors. Which is curious, because Trejo has always been such a scene-stealer in the past. Again, I am not saying he did a bad job, I just think he got a little outgunned by his co-stars and did not have enough support from his writer/director Rodriguez.

Machete Poster 2010If it helps, even the busty senorita tattooed on his massive chest has more acting skill than Lindsey Lohan and Jessica Alba combined. They are obviously two children desperately trying to play with the adults, and even in a B-movie extravaganza like Machete these actresses come off as complete jokes. At least Rodriguez had the inclination to keep Lohan completely naked through the majority of her screen time, which helped distract me from her performance enough to not laugh hysterically at her incompetence. She is hot though.Machete Poster w/ Lindsey Lohan

I don’t want anyone to think I didn’t absolutely love this film. It is a film made for my adoration of sleazy cinema. Rodriguez is having so much fun it is palpable. In fact, I am pretty sure everyone is having an absolute blast being a part of Machete. The titular machetes are a force of devastation. Trejo wields them not unlike Thor flourishes his mighty hammer, unleashing swift and perfect justice on any and all enemies. His blade brings with it an invincible, unstoppable power that only the scarred Mexican can employ. Like so many superheroes before him, Machete did not have a choice in his fate. Instead his fate was set long before the events of the film. He was born with blades in hand; ready to kill for truth, justice, and the Mexican way. 

#11. Rashomon - Review

Rashomon Poster

Akira Kurosawa’s Rashomon sets out to teach historians and students alike a lesson in perception and the responsibility one has when attempting to discern fact from any story. His wildly blended tale of a kidnapping, a rape, and a murder, is brilliantly presented through the shuffled memories of all that were involved with the sordid events.  The amalgam of so many point-of-views creates a whirlwind of speculation, impossible to trust or believe.

Like the film, the short stories from Konjaku Monogatari-Shu (Tales From Long Ago) also present accounts from ancient Japan. Certain particular narratives were hard to believe, especially when considering the present-day reputation of a samurai. The persona of a samurai is that of a noble warrior, a fearless and proud soldier that was concerned with nothing more than honor and a dignified death. Tales From Long Ago and Rashomon however paint a different picture of the samurai. Perhaps honor is not as important as survival, as Taira no Koremochi proved when he dressed as a woman and hid for his life in a ditch until the enemy withdrew. Fujiwara no Yasumasa presented a more conciliatory image of the samurai when, instead of striking down the insolent bandit that was attempting to steal his shoes, held-fast his blade and instead used reason and charity to pacify the young criminal.

Rashomon CastRashomon submits the most shocking conception of the samurai: wicked and weak. In his film, Kurosawa allows his samurai to be duped, petty, cruel, and worst of all an unskilled swordsman. Could there really have been samurai with such shallow integrity, with such amateurish fighting capability? The testimony recounted by the bandit Tajomaru and the samurai’s wife Masako present the husband as a prideful coward. Its not until the warrior’s own side of the story is conveyed by way of a medium does the audience even get a glimpse of the samurai history has taught us to be true.

Both Tales from Long Ago and Rashomon impart a different version of the samurai. Their descriptions do not include the bushido code of conduct. In fact, there is no code, no law, and no real accountability for these Japanese swordsmen. The man with the blade makes the rules perhaps, but that goes against everything history has instilled in the samurai legend.  And that, perhaps, is Kurosawa’s lesson to the viewer. History is just the blended tales of shuffled memories, and every student of history, in any context, should always stay vigilant when attempting to discern fact from speculation. 

Coming Soon

Fall Movie Countdown

Starting Next Week I am going to start counting down my top 10 most anticipated movies of the fall. I am really interested to hear what movies everyone is excited for, so send me a message (contact button) telling me your #1 movie you cannot wait to see. The only rules are the movie has to be releasing into theaters (wide or select release, it doesn't matter) and it has to be coming out between now and Thanksgiving Day. All right, let me know what flicks you are pumped for!

PathPix: An iPhone Addiction

Ok... Its been 12 days since I have played a video game of any kind. So far I am holding strong, I don't really have an urge to fire up a game on my 360 or anything (although I do want to play Dead Rising Case Zero). Surprisingly, the hardest part so far has been my urge to play iPhone games. Anyone with an iPhone and a lifestyle with constant downtime (I am a full-time student) knows the convenient distraction an iPhone provides. Have an hour between classes? Fire that little black beauty up and lets play some Drop7! Finish the test early and have nothing to do? Ok then I will kill a couple dozen angry birds before its time to split. 

So, in an effort to curve my addictive craving for app ingestion, I want to periodically talk about my favorite iPhone games. The best diversions I can no longer employ.

The game I have to mention first is also my biggest disappointment: PathPix. With a simple premise, and a mind-melting difficulty curve, this is the game I spent the most time with and never finished. My buddy Steve Gano hipped me to this puzzle-makes-art masterpiece, and I am forever grateful. Basically, the point is to connect like colors and numbers to create a picture.

Anyone can play, but few will have the stamina to complete the entire game. My biggest mistake was to play this game right before I go to sleep. What I told myself would be only one puzzle evolves into 3 hours of pixel power.

Do you remember when you would play hours of Tetris or Dr. Mario, and you try to go to sleep what would happen? Your mind would start projecting gameplay footage on the back of your eyelids! Your trying desperately to fall asleep, and all you can see are Tetris pieces slowly falling in the blackness of your half-sleep. PathPix offers the same level of addiction as Tetris and Dr. Mario do, and unfortunately offers the same side-effects. Like any good addict will tell you however, its worth it. This game is challenging, amusing, and provides that quick-hit pleasure the iPhone is perfect for... of course, if you can't stop after one puzzle then that really doesn't matter!

Help Me Get To PIFF!

I have some exciting news. I have been invited to attend this year's Pusan International Film Festival (PIFF) in South Korea. It is one of the world's biggest film festivals, and only 10 students were invited so I feel very honored to have the opportunity. Unfortunately, I need to raise about $1200.00 by October to attend... that is where you guys come in! I am setting up a donate button on the right side of the home page, underneath "links and logins" if anyone is feeling generous enough to help get me to South Korea. I appreciate absolutely any amount, and I decided that for anyone who donates (no matter how much), I will review a movie of their choice. No questions asked, no complaining. This goes towards a great cause, and if you have ever wanted to hear my reaction to Dumpster Baby now is your chance!

The Social Network Trailer

This is an amazingly cut trailer. So often now we get trailers that show us too much. They are just condensed versions of the movie they are promoting. What is supposed to excite us and peak our interest instead hits us over the head with plot points and spoilers. I cannot tell you how many times I have watched a trailer for a film and then realized in disappointment that I know everything that is going to happen in the movie. A perfect example of what I am talking about was a trailer for a film they showed before The American called Morning Glory:

You see what I am saying? Not only did they show us way too much about the story, but I now know the entire character arc for the two main characters (Ford and McAdams) and I can give a pretty good guess on how this film ends. Are we as viewers that untrustworthy?

Since its release last summer, I have touted A Serious Man’s trailer as being a perfect example of how you cut a preview. The rhythm set underneath its entirety is catchy, and sets a flow for both the cuts and the dialogue. Its immediately interesting, gives you an idea of what to expect, without giving anything away. This is my favorite trailer, I think ever. I own the film, and have watched it 5-6 times, and I still go back and watch this trailer from time to time. And I know what your thinking, "Big surprise, David Fincher and the Coen brothers know how to make a good trailer." Well, I agree... but my point still stands.